Michael Jackson

I would just like to go on record as saying that I don't give a flying fuck about the passing of Michael Jackson, except perhaps to inquire whether anybody has taken the precaution of driving a stake through his heart, lopping off his head and filling his mouth with garlic. Because I'm not entirely convinced that his 'death' was really a recent event.

That is all.

Advertising Standards Bureau puts the mockers on the Wandin Valley Sex Police

You may have noticed those cringe-worthy TV advertisements put out by "Advanced Medical Institute" (snigger) for treatments for 'pre-mature ejaculation'. You know, the ones with the guy who played Frank in A Country Practice issuing 'speeding tickets' to some poor guy who was supposedly "going too fast" in bed?

Yes, just when you thought men didn't have enough things to feel insecure about, it turns out that the Wandin Valley Sex Police are hiding in your closet with a stopwatch, watching you have sex and timing how long it takes for you to spill your love custard.

It seems that I wasn't the only one who found these ads offensive. The Advertising Standards Bureau has apparently received dozens of complaints about this and other advertisements put out by the 'Institute'. The Advertising Standards Board decided that the ad was indeed offensive on the basis that:

"While intending to be humorous ... the advertisement was demeaning because it suggested a serious men's health issue was akin to a criminal offence, while the apparent frustration shown by the woman was suggestive of intolerance towards men suffering from premature ejaculation."

and

"[T]he tone and content of the advertisement clearly had the potential to impact on men's self-esteem and cause shame, embarrassment and undue distress."
(The Age)

It seems that AMI will be withdrawing the ad from television, leaving us free to enjoy the latest episode of Master Chef (Well OK, maybe "enjoy" is too strong a word) without being haunted by nightmarish visions of voyeuristic old men in police uniforms (Brian Wenzel must really be strapped for cash). And rightly so.

While I don't necessarily have a problem with the subject matter of the ad, I do agree with the board that it is demeaning to men. If an advertisement mocked and trivialised womens' health problems in such a way, the public outcry would be deafening. To say nothing of the way it plays on men's insecurities (although the latter seems like pretty fair game in the advertising world for both sexes).

And if you are a man and are worried that you actually might have a premature ejaculation problem, for pity's sake, take yourself off to a reputable GP and talk to them about it. They will be able to tell you if you really do have a problem and prescribe a form of treatment that has some basis in science. There seems to be some debate about what actually constitutes premature ejaculation in any case, and whether it is even a legitimate medical condition.


And now I'm going to have the theme for A Country Practice stuck in my head all day. Thanks a bunch, Advanced Medical Institute.

It seems that Cadbury has finally caved to public pressure (and, I imagine the selling power of 'ethical' products), and announced that it will be selling its chocolate under the FAIRTRADE certification by the end of the northern Summer, 2009.

"As 50 percent of our business is chocolate orientated, we are looking to create a good and sustainable business," Cadbury's Chief Executive Todd Stitzer told Reuters.

Under the Fairtrade scheme, Cadbury will pay a minimum price for its Ghanaian cocoa, but Stitzer said there would be no change to the group's financial forecast that its overall input costs would rise between 6 and 8 percent in 2009.

The Fairtrade mark is aimed at securing a better deal for developing market commodity producers, and is used on a range of products such as coffee and bananas. UK Fairtrade sales reached an estimated retail value of 700 million pounds in 2008.

Reuters

(Full article)

Being the cynical individual that I am, I expect that Cadbury is doing this at least as much for the market edge the FAIRTRADE brand will give it over its competitors, as out of a warm, fuzzy desire to create a better world, but if the upshot of this is that fewer cocoa farmers have to live in abject poverty, I'm not going to complain.

Many other FAIRTRADE branded products, particularly tea and coffee, are already available in Australia, the UK and various other countries FAIRTRADE goods can be recognised by the FAIRTRADE Mark.

Pimped-out Volleys?

When did Dunlop Volleys become 'cool' enough to warrant such a pimped-out website?

I noticed the other day when I was attempting to explain to some friends from OS what Volleys are and why they aren't proper Volleys unless they look like they you mugged a zombie go get them, thus explaining the extremely dilapidated state of my green pair.

I mean, I always thought they were cool when I was a kid, but that was before the whole designer sneakers thing hit Australia, and Volleys were cooler than the other kind of sneakers that Dunlop sold, because they had a coloured trim. If you owned a pair with a pink trim, you were a fucking hero. I am also dimly aware that they have acquired something of a cult, anti-fashion following, in the past few years.

I hope this isn't the precursor to them actually becoming fashionable and leading to an increase in price and decrease in quality (Docs, anyone?). I like things that are cheap and not crap.

Doomsday?

I find this article:

Doomsday looms for Brisbane commuters

- to be in rather poor taste, given the very real disasters currently afflicting people in the north and south of this country.

Oh no! Some of us are going to have to take a bus or drive, and maybe leave for work half an hour early. Yeah, that's Doomsday all right. Entire communities wiped out by fire or losing their homes to the floods, orphaned children, grieving families and physical and emotional scars that will never fully heal are nothing by comparison.

Reschedule your meeting and get over it.

Incidentally, if anyone is reading this and looking to do something for the people affected by the Victorian bushfires or Northern Queenslan floods, the Red Cross is accepting donations here:

Bushfires appeal

... and here

Flood appeal

I gather that the blood bank has stocks sufficient for current needs inVictoria, but has asked people to donate over the coming weeks, as the shock recedes and media attention dwindles, but victims require ongoing medical treatment. It appears that blood donations are still being sought in Queensland.

The Red Cross is not seeking donations of items such as clothing or household goods, due to the logistical difficulties in getting them to affected communities. If any other charities are, I'd love to know.

I know many people, myself included, want to do something, anything, to help the people affected by these disasters, and not all of us have a lot of ready cash. I suppose that sometimes the best thing we can do to help is to be patient and persistent. A lot of people are going to need a lot of help for a long time.

Also I know the floods have been dwarfed in the media by the fires in Victoria, due to the former's mercifully lower death toll, but let's not forget that people are hurting in Northern Queensland and need our help too.

Effusive praise

Just received the following message from the WA Government's job notification system:

"Congratulations jobs.wa.gov.au job alerts have been extended"

Why thank you, automatically-generated tech-support message. I hadn't realised that clicking on a link to renew my subscription was considered such an achievement. Am I expected to give a speech or something?

If this is all it takes to attract such effusive praise from the WA government, getting a job there should be a doddle...

Yes, I'm a sarcastic bitch. I just find it a little irritating that we live in a society where everything is sensationalised to the point where words like "hero", "chilling" and even "congratulations" become so over-used that the start to lose all meaning, and many organisations feel the need to treat us all as though we were seven.

Plus, it's past 9am and I haven't had my coffee yet.

... because I left it sitting on the kitchen bench after I got distracted by shiny things, or more specifically, John Birmingham's blog.

... and I suppose it's just as possible that the techie who wrote the afore-mentioned notification was being just as sarcastic. If their job is anything like mine, the probably routinely get calls from frantic, worried people who find simple instructions like "Please click the link below to continue receiving alerts emails" a little too much to deal with. And at least they managed to resist the urge to use exclamation marks, or even worse, multiple exclamation marks.

PS: I really need to start proof-reading my blog entries more carefully.

A fairly pointless musing on man's humanity to dog

Just a quick post.

My parents had to have the dog put down yesterday. He was 12 years old and his vision, eyesight and cognitive abilities had been going downhill for a while, but he had still been content enough. Then yesterday morning, mum came downstairs and found him blundering around, walking into walls, presumably trying to find his way to the dog door, to go upstairs and wake my parents up, as is his wont. It soon became obvious that his hearing and vision, and even sense of smell had gone completely.

They took him to the vet, who informed them that he most probably had an advanced brain tumour and, while she could run an MRI to be 100% sure, even if it was operable, it was unlikely to improve his quality of life. The parents regretfully made the decision to put him down, rather than force him to suffer simply for their own gratification.

I cried quite a lot about it but, as much as I'll miss him, the thing that bothered me more was that he must have spent much of the morning, frightened and disoriented, unable to find his owners, his water bowl, or even the way back to his bed.

Anyway, the point of this story is that my parents were able to afford a dog, whom we all considered a beloved member of the family, the kind of dignity and mercy that is denied to humans. I've seen two of my grandparents waste away for years in nursing homes, unable to look after themselves or communicate what they wanted. I wish that I could have ended their suffering so easily.

I'm not trying to simplify or trivialise the debate about euthanasia here. I know that there are a lot of complex issues at play, and that it is difficult to construct a system which isn't open to exploitation. As it is, people abuse the right to euthanasia animals. My sister is a veterinarian, who used to work in small animal practice, and I've heard some stories from her that make me sick.

I don't have an answer to this problem. I just find it ironic that, despite animals supposedly having fewer rights than people, in some ways we treat them with more compassion than we would our fellow humans.